“GUILTY by Default”

GUILTY by Default


“Only God can judge me.”
– Tupac Shakur


I have a huge reputation for being quite excellent in whatever I set my mind at; absolutely anything, that is.

I can humbly and simply say; I’m very result oriented.

Clinically so too, once my mind is made up.

Cos of this attitude of mine, my mother erroneously believed, strongly too that I was a hemp smoking teenager after I left secondary school.

I was strangely; very wild, unruly and disobedient.

I have that same resonance and intensity in my relationships with the opposite sex. It’s either we click or we don’t click. Unfortunately for me, I click with quite a number and the accusations are quite mind blowing.
I take no notice of them anyway.

“Truth is – Even if I say so myself, I’m so not into women”


Now, I used to have this female friend before I got married.
Simply just friend. No strings attached.
A church member of mine as well as a neighbour. Coincidentally, she also served in the harvest committee that I served as chairman for 2 years.

This brought us so close together.
We went for morning Mass together, came back from committee deliberations late at night together. I was also sometimes at her place to rub minds on certain issues that needed urgent attention.

Neighbours took notice of all these and they were not only shocked but surprised when I announced my wedding – To someone else.

In all honesty, my friendship to and with her was just simply that – A friendship.

Nothing more.

Now, this was someone I could go sit in her house and talk and laugh together with for hours.

I got married and the first shocker I got from a neighbour was:

‘You left your ‘wife’ here and went out to bring in someone else’.


Another one would tell me once he sees me:

‘Your ‘wife’ just passed’.

I had to sternly warn him, for sometimes my wife was even in the room when he’s saying these stuffs.

“What if she was looking out through the window ?”

Apparently, she too had been uncomfortable with my unusual friendship.

“We tend to judge others by their behavior (actions), and ourselves by our intentions.”

This is how I found out.

My UK based friend, CFAD had come on a visit to Nigeria and had paid me a quick visit at home.
Being a Man United fan, we were discussing our darling team when I saw my close female friend strolling away on the street.
I quickly told CFAD ooooooo.

“Look, that’s another vocal United fan”

We both went out to the balcony and I called out to her while also doing the intros.

She decided to come up.
We all gisted and gisted oooooo.

My friend left and she followed suit too.

At night when wifey came home, I informed her; very innocently oooooo that when Shelly was here this and that happened.

‘Shelly came here ?’ was the next thing she said.

“Yes, when CFAD called” I reminded her.

She kept quiet.

“Sometimes we miss the message because we are too focused on the messenger”

Weeks later, we needed to get sponsors for my son’s christening.
A godfather and a godmother.
For me, Shelly was just the right fit for a godmother so I intensified a search for a male after she had agreed.
Problem was she had booked a ticket for a summer trip to America on that same day of the christening. I begged her and she rescheduled at an obvious cost to her.
When wifey heard whom the godmother of our son was going to be. She turned it down straight away – Outrightly.

Come and see me oooooo.
Person wey don change her ticket – How I go tell am say we no do again ?

I sha miraculously found a way round it and we made this older couple the godparents for my son.

Myself and wifey continued this cat and mouse game till the day she looked me in the eye and said:

“I know you’re fu_king Shelly, I know”

Lobatan oooooooooo.

I almost passed out that day, wishing the earth would open and swallow me up.

Awusubillaiiiiiiiiii 😨😨😱😱

ME !


“Never allow anyone to tell your story. You’re in this moment, the most powerful narrator of your life ,–”



20 thoughts on ““GUILTY by Default”

  1. Olawale Dairo-Singerr says:

    Owe agba, “Only the wearer of a pair of shoes knows where it pinches.” No doubt there are many remarkable cases like this but in truthfulness, how would the other partner feel if roles were reversed? Just thoughts…

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Lola says:

    Well I think that kind of relationship could be permitted when both parties are single. After marriage, it may be an uphill task trying to justify why the close relationship is “mere friendship”. The only time it may be permitted is when the “other friend” becomes a friend to both husband and wife.
    “Remember, people will judge you by your actions and not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold but so does a boiled egg”~Maya Angelou

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Your post are so “Original”. One of my in-laws recently had a similar case that i had to call my sister and told her the implication of her action in keeping friendship with an opposite sex who isn’t friends with her husband. Lola concluded so well “couples should not keep friendship with the opposite sex that isn’t friends with the other partner”. It causes avoidable discombobulations!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Omotee says:

    Ah. This is not straightforward o jare. I don’t think you’re partner has to be friends with your own friends, same sex, opposite sex. But they definitely have to be alright with it.

    And the Godmother thing. Ah. Even me I won’t agree o. I don’t care if she used last kobo to change ticket o. Una fit dey do friendship Wey no involve me but make everybody maintain their space o.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Debola says:

    I bet you, that relationship was too close for comfort. The good friendship in here was definitely evil spoken of, by neighbours and sundry. You were the only one so innocently wrong. I kinda think it is natural for such deep friendship to flourish into something more intimate. So do the mathematics, she wasn’t aversed to the altar call too, she licked her wounds thereafter. Nice lady Shelley was, you promised nothing, she got nothing and so, she never complained. Let’s hear it from Shelley.

    P.S-Sorry, I expanded your text.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. . . . I said this boldly all the time – Though she never believed me, but the truth remains that I never cheated on wifey while married or even while courting her.

        Sometimes, some people are just wired to believe what they feel or do.

        I don’t start what I can’t finish.

        That policy works for me so so well.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. It’s a policy not many hold.
        I realized from my own husband’s lack of character & integrity its more important than any amount of money. I can’t understand why it does not have much value with people. It means everything to me.

        Liked by 1 person

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