“My Neighbours”

Neighbours bring brightness and shine into the environment everywhere, mine are no different.
They come very diverse and varied, beautiful and ugly, wonderful and extreme.

I live on a street where wrong can be termed right and right is labelled an attitude.

I love a number of them, wholeheartedly too and could have sincerely said I dislike and have disdain for some to the moon and back.

Same way some find me interesting while still others see me as difficult.

What anyone thinks of me is their business, that’s my attitude. I simply do what’s in my best interest.

Simple as a b c.

For some obvious reasons, I tell people my best neighbour is the owner of the compound to my left.
Such a fantastic man, one who apologises even for using his generator overnight – Weird right ?
That’s his nature.

He’s employed the same driver for about three decades. His parties, very rare though are never beyond 5.00 pm. No loud music disturbance. No frills or thrills.
He’s Muslim and his place is usually always my first port of call during Muslim festivals . . . Loads and lots to eat and he even sends more later at night or the following day . . . Such is his giving nature.
A Badagry man who brought me me uncountable numbers of coconut and sugarcane for my wedding engagement, he had insisted to make that his contribution.

Opposite me is where you have the ‘parrots’ in the hood, a seamstress and hairdresser. The two of them are an annoying combo, they have a dossier of absolutely wrong diagnosis on everybody . . . Falsehood that is.
The hairdresser, saucy and very abusive to those close to her. The seamstress, a noise maker per excellence – Is a topnotch gossip, high class and world class. Has something to say about anything and everybody in the hood, whether she’s spoken to them or not.
I once heard her telling people on the street the newest inhabitant in my compound works with Channels, a tv station just cos the tv crew came down to interview him in the compound.

She literally goes out of her way to entangle herself to others who go about their own businesses, ‘Won’t you come and patronise me ?’ she harassed one of the new occupants of the house next door to mine.


My street is such a mess that my Ikoyi friend who was around till a bit late at night once asked, shocked too if a party was ongoing while I was seeing her off.

She was surprised at the number of cars parked on the street.
She sighed, heavily too when I declared it was a normalcy . . . Chaos it was to her.

This practice; cars on both sides of the road makes commuting very difficult.
Drivers have to wait at one temporarily free end for one another. No free flow of traffic.
It’s worse when a driver wants to get into his compound. He parks right in the middle of the road to open his gate, ignoring the honks of sometimes 4 or 5 cars behind him. He or she apologises with a wave of the hand, displaying an attitudinal mien of ‘Why can’t you all be patient ?’

This episode, which I’ve witnessed a million times over gets on my frail nerves mehnnn.

What effrontery ?

The sad truth however, I seem to be the only one who doesn’t understand – Their parking spaces have been converted to smaller newer apartments and shops for extra income.


Same with the spate at which residents now leave their waste unattended in front of their houses nowadays. This is so embarrassing. Is has also become a way of life too with the defence that it’s the waste management’s responsibility since they’ve paid.
A showcase of how dirty the inhabitants are.

Lord have mercy.

Now to the compound by my right, the newly built one. A block of six flats, built on a half plot of land, all cramped up with various funny looking humanoids. Took time for them to get the place rented up cos of the nature of the building as well as the high end rate. One of the apartments is occupied by Unilag students. I’ve lost count trying to figure out their number. They come in various categories too. From innocent looking to vain. Tall and short, dark and light, fat and slim.
Cars come in different shapes and sizes too to come pick them up at night, old and new.
A particular red Hyundai Accent picks about 4 or 5 almost every morning and back in the evening to and fro lectures – Something tells me it’s Uber.

The huge bulky guy in the same compound can’t be ignored. His routine each morning – Takes his little son to the crech down the road, comes back to the hairdresser opposite me for a bottle of coke, picks a chair to balance on in front of the gate and lights a cigarette – Perusing his phone, puffing away and coughing out loud as he does so.

I usually look at him with pity.
I accosted him once about the litters in front of their gate.

“This is an eyesore” I told him angrily. He smiled, calming the slightly tensed mood of mine with a joke, he liked my whitened goatee he said while promising to ensure the place was cleaned up the following day. He did too.

Everyday, my friend who drives a Jetta scrubs away on his car, he’s a freak for cleanliness, doing this sometimes twice a day, morning and evening.
The residents association secretary returns from his morning prayers at the mosque alongside his financial sec, both positioned at a corner of the street, this has become their usual practice. They gist away, attracting the glances of passersby. You’ll hear the gen sec gloating of being tired of the association.
Yet resign he’s refused despite their tenure long expired. Lol.

As all these unfolds, other people are hurrying to work too, just as school buses also pick up wards for schools.

It’s the beginning of a brand new day.

Good morning my neighbours.

Kikikikikikikikikikikikiiiiii !



14 thoughts on ““My Neighbours”

  1. Nene says:

    Noooooo you didn’t!!! lol @your frail nerves, ain’t nothing frail about them. Insulting me with that new generator to tell me subtly that I’m disturbing your sanity… Ohhhhh btw this is sooo good. Lmao

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ay says:

    I hope your neighbours don’t read your, especially the ones on the right side. Ha ha ha.
    Seriously, takeaway the Unilag students and the Fin Sec who has refused to vacate office, one would think you were describing my neighborhood, where chaos is the new normal.
    Great piece, as usual.

    Liked by 1 person

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